Santa's Snubbing Bigots This Year: a song parody

(to the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”)

Chorus

It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verse:

If you’re into bigotry,
your Christmas Day will flop.
And if you holler “Stop the Boats!”,
the reindeer just won’t stop.

Chorus

It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verse:

If you yield to prejudice,

Santa's no one's stooge.

He'll subcontract your presents

to Ebenezer Scrooge.

Chorus

It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verse:

The lists of “nice” and “naughty”
are getting rather thick
But bigots should prepare to get
bupkiss from Saint Nick.

Chorus

It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verse:

Headscarf-banning’s not OK
way up at the North Pole,
and Mister Kringle has prepared
some stocking-loads of coal.

Chorus

It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year. 

Verse:
Santa can’t stand prejudice.
He thinks it isn’t funny.
He's even sold his blacklist
to his friend the Easter Bunny.

Chorus

It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verses:

Don’t think that port and biscuits
will make dear Santa linger.
If you're an antisemite,
you’re sure to get the finger.

Chorus
It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verses:

There's gifts for ABBA tribute bands

and Elvis impersonators.

But this year, you just have to know

there ain't no gifts for haters.

Chorus

It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verse:

I'm told he even has some gifts
for hookers, pimps, and madames.
But racist, sexist, homophobes
will get "sweet Fanny Adams".
 
Chorus
It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verse:
Unless you want to have a home
where reindeer dare not go,
if you dream of a "White Christmas",
I hope you're thinking snow.

Chorus
It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

Verse:
There’s no way he can change his mind.
It isn’t just to tease us.
The order came straight from his Boss,
direct from Baby Jesus.
 
Chorus
It’s time to accept some Christmas advice.
You’d better make sure your attitude’s nice,
for Santa’s snubbing bigots ...
(I hope that you can dig it!)
Santa’s snubbing bigots this year.

***

Notes (from 2014)

I wrote this song parody when I was reflecting on the increased prominence this year of those whom I call "professional bigots" in politics, the media, and other forms of public life here in Australia.  In the midst of these reflections, I somehow couldn't get the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" out of my head.  I thought WWTLD ("What would Tom Lehrer do?") and wrote this song. 


And, if you'd like some of my reflections on Advent and Christmas sitting on your bookshelf as well as on your computer, you may want to buy my book  Christmas Lost and Christmas Regained from Amazon.