How many Uniting Church members does it take to change a light globe?
- Eight to develop a strategic plan.
- Seventeen to arrive at consensus.
- One to complain to Synod that he didn't give permission to change the globe, even though his great-grandfather donated the original globe in 1904.
- One to complain to the National Trust on the grounds that it was the oldest light globe in continuous use anywhere in the state.
- Twenty-five to hold a thanksgiving service for the old globe (and singing "God gives us a future ...").
- Eighteen to hold a dedication service for the new globe (and again singing "God gives us a future ...").
- Thirty-eight to review the change at six-month, eighteen-month, and five-year intervals.
- Twenty-three to leave the congregation because something in the process irritated them.